Sometimes it's the little things in life that can give your day a boost, and for the office team and me, it is most certainly weird and inflated job titles. If you are a job seeker, you will appreciate that looking for a job can be a full-time job in itself, so if you can imagine those of us who are looking for, or researching jobs for lots of different people on a daily basis; seeing the same job titles over and over again can make ones eyes go squiffy. Every now and then, though, we see some weird and inflated job titles that make us stop dead in our tracks – or spit our coffees over our computer screens!
In my blog last week, I asked the question, “Why has interviewing become so complicated?”, so my question this week is, “Why can't employers/ recruiters just keep it simple instead of being overly creative using weird & inflated job titles?”
Here's some of our favourite weird & inflated job titles of late.
“Help! I'm drowning!”
“Yeah, I'll be over to save you when I have finished reading my newspaper.”
Ok, maybe that's a bit too casual, but you get my point. Wouldn't temporary, part time, contracted or some other description be more apt? The same goes for one a learner of mine stumbled across yesterday…
Casual Funeral Assistant
Yikes! Without stating the obvious; when you're dead, you're dead and time isn't of any concern, however, would you want someone who is in charge of your farewell to rock up when they fancy it wearing jeans and a T-shirt? Just a thought.
Seriously! This is a true story. Have you guessed yet? Ok, we can't call them Bouncers anymore; the official term is Door Security, but Eviction Technician?? Ouch, sounds painful.
Also known as a Transparent Wall Maintenance Engineer, or back in the good old days – a Window Cleaner.
Underwater Ceramic Technician
Now, I haven't actually seen this one for myself, but I have been convinced by a reliable source that this is actually a job title. It's a Dishwasher ie. someone who washes crockery. Sounds swanky, don't you think?
Yet another technician. When did these job roles become so technical? I clearly need sandwich training as mine sound very inadequate. I might just switch to jacket potatoes instead.
Media Publications Administrator
Now, this one drives me absolutely bonkers! If you are a job seeker and subscribe to regular job alerts into your inbox, you will have no doubt seen this one if you have media, publications or administration as your key skills or former job roles. The title sounds great, but unless you are a teenager or OAP (and any other age!) willing to get up at 5.30am to deliver newspapers in all weathers, you are wasting your time applying. Yep, you've guessed it – paper boy/ girl/ whatever is politically correct in 2015.
Revenue Protection Officer
My daughter had a nasty encounter with two of these when she was 14; they made her cry! Why? Did she have some secret business where she avoided tax? Nope. She got off the train and the Ticket Inspector didn't believe she was a child (trust me, at 14 she did look like she was a child) and interrogated her as she didn't have identification on her. Why would she? She was a child, yet, I guess they were just “protecting revenue.”
Environmental Maintenance Officer
Now, I am for all things to protect and maintain the environment, but call me old fashioned, a Bin Man is a Bin Man. Maybe I'll stretch to Refuse Collector to be politically correct.
Waking Night Project Worker
As opposed to what? Sleeping Beauty?
And now for my two favourite weird & inflated job titles, I really can't decide, so it's over to you dear readers to discuss (does that make my job title a Pass The Bucker?)
Snigger! It's something along the lines of IT Security, but I will let you Google it for clarification.
Education Centre Nourishment Consultant
Go on, guess! You've probably spent many years with one of these serving you for 36 weeks of the year. Dinner Lady!
So, over to you. What weird & inflated job titles have you come across? Do you actually have one right now? Please discuss or feel free to share with your friends. I'd love to hear more.